The first time I saw the movie Clerks, I thought it was hilarious. But I never fully appreciated it until I wasted 41/2 years of my life in a shitty, dead-end retail job. The main character, Dante, is a hockey playing clerk who will help out the boss by coming in on his day off to listen to dumb fucks ask dumb fuck questions, only to have the boss turn right around and fuck him over. Story of my fucking life. For the past half decade, I have had to listen to stupid assholes bitch and moan at me about shit beyond my control. Well, shame on me for putting up with it for so long. This Sunday, I am finally liberated from the clutches of retail and all the hassles that come with it. I am going to spend the next month playing hockey and video games, drinking, and going to school. And although I have another two years until I get my degree, I will not work retail ever again! I will shovel shit, dump trash, whatever it takes. But I will never, ever help one more fucking soccer mom who is in a bitchy mood because her 18 ton SUV doesn't have heated seats and her husband only spent 80,000 fucking dollars on her engagement ring. Fuck that.