BBC: President Bush has acknowledged the existence of secret CIA prisons and said 14 key terrorist suspects have now been sent to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Jer: Well Duh.
BBC: Mr Bush said the CIA's interrogation programme had been "vital" in saving lives, but denied the use of torture.
Jer: Because 3-4 years of imprisonment without trial is not considered torture by anyone. Ever.
BBC: In a televised address alongside families of those killed in the 11 September 2001 attacks, Mr Bush said there were now no terrorist suspects under the CIA programme.
Jer: Because now there really, REALLY aren't any more CIA secret prisons. Just that one. No others.
W: "This programme has helped us to take potential mass murderers off the streets before they have a chance to kill"
Jer: We can be absolutely certain each and every person we had in prison is guilty of potential mass murder. We know this so well that we have no need for a fair and public trial with facts and evidence.
BBC: All suspects will now be treated under new guidelines issued by the Pentagon on Wednesday, which bring all military detainees under the protection of the Geneva Convention.
Jer: Except for the ones that are still in the secret prisons that we haven't told you about and won't ever see a fair trial with facts and evidence because we KNOW they are guilty of potential mass murder. We KNOW it.
Dear everyone in the middle east: I am sorry my country is putting your people in concentration camps without trial. It offends me daily that my government is holding your people without trial and without council. I believe there are bad people, but I don't believe we can know who they are without a fair and public trial with facts, evidence and legal council. My country's constitution says that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but my government seems to think that only applies if you were born here. That is unjust. We must hold trials, evidence must be made public, the guilty must be punished and the INNOCENT MUST BE RELEASED! Please forgive us.