Kung Fu and World Domination

posted December 27, 2004 by Jer


You never see the movie Kung Fu master beat the shit out of a child molester. Why?

That's pretty fucking evil right there. He stole the sexual innocence from at least one helpless child. He's probably justified it to himself. He'd deserve having his head punched with such masterful precision that his spine telescopes. So why don't Kung Fu warriors fight these guys? Even in "Kiss of the Dragon," fucking a little kid was just the bad guy's idol threat to make him sound more bad. Kung Fu heros don't care. They always chose to fight the one dishonorable man who wants to rule the world. Why?

Is wanting to rule the world really bad enough to reap Kung Fu vengeance? Megalomania isn't evil in the real world, it's life. Any white male American can rule the world if he wants to. All he has to do is choose a political party, work the system, play the game that has been defined and redefined by ages upon ages of white men before him until finally he is elected. Then all he has to do is sit back in that huge comfortable chair and enjoy it. It's not hard. I could get started on it tomorrow if I like. I'm white and male and born American. I'm qualified.

Why are those men safe? In the movies, men who do what they do get exploded by that one Navy Seal with a big heart and a strong sense of justice. We've let ruling the world become one of the safest and most comfortable careers known to man. Last I checked, wanting to rule the world was evil, yet every four years we rally behind and cheer for one of two white male Americans who openly desire world domination. These are men who Kung Fu masters eat as their main corse! Yes sir Mr. Lee and what will you be having this evening? Hmm I think I'll have the lo main, some deep fried duck assholes and... ah here we go... bring me a megalomaniac to decimate in kung fu battle, that would be lovely. Seriously, who was the last president who could actually hold his own if attacked by a Kung Fu master? Tell me that. Harrison Ford?

That is the world we live in. In our movies, child molesters aren't bad enough to get beaten up by guys with cool martial art training, yet the real world is controlled by humans who happened to be born the correct race, gender and nationality and have a long standing tradition of looking out for each other. So why am I complaining about it? I'm not, this shit is fucking sweet. To everyone who doesn't have it made like me, I say FACE!

I don't really mean that. I am seriously concerned about the state of the world, but what the hell can some poor ass comic artist who happened to be the same race, gender and nationality as the humans that are running this planet into the ground actually do about it?

Bitch, that's what. Goodnight everyone, you've been great.