Right, Sam. You're fed up with the snakes so you seek out the most efficient snake killing tool available. Did you read in your pistol's manual where it says that snakes are kinda small and move around a lot? If your aim's not good enough to STOMP on it, Sam, I really doubt you'll have much more luck with that gun.
Lady, how exactly did that thing sneak up on you from between your tits? Too much traffic in that region leave you numb for life?
But I saved the best for last people...
Why are you screaming? Dude, WHY are you screaming? You've GOT him! You've got him in the super-secret ultimate serpent strangle hold! You caught him with your kung-fu grip, rendering him totally defenceless! You WON! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!
Just you wait people. They'll say it tomorrow. And I'll be the only one who saw it coming. Snakes on a Plane is an April Fools Joke.
At least I hope to gaiman it is.