Studio Splurd 2005 Bender Award Winners

posted January 7, 2006 by Jer

JerWell, it's over, the nominations are in. Can't really say much about it, nor can I pick a real overall winner. The plan was that we'd all discuss it once the nominations were in, but our feelings of "m'eh" are quite strong after 2005. Lets take a moment to recap the nominations.

Sober Awards
Jer - King Kong (movie)
Q - The 'Kou Klan' Wank
Jenn - Hurricane Katrina (effect on politics)
Beak - Serenity (movie)
Big Josh - All Movies of 05
G.L. Jeff - The Declaration of Independence

Bender Awards
Jer - Poverty (as exposed by Hurricane Katrina)
Q - The Plight of Tirhas Habtegiris
Jenn - the concept of government regulating human reproduction
Beak - the Catholic Church
Big Josh - The entire year of 05
G.L. Jeff - George W. Bush's push towards American fascism
Jason - Fantastic Four (movie)

links to everyone's nominee rants - in order of submission
Jer - Q - Jenn - Beak - Big Josh - G.L. Jeff - Xrys

...and there it is. Good picks and beautiful rants on all parts... to the point that Xrys - and Mr. Seffinga by phone - had to admit they couldn't add to the pile. I guess we should pick a winner, but the nominations stand so well. Personally, I'd love to say that the Bender and Sober awards were both won by Hurricane Katrina - it would seem poetic. But I'm out of touch with the crew right now, and can't get everyone to scrape together any kind of consensus. That, and this whole awards thing is dragging on. So I'm going to make an executive decision and say the winners were Big Josh's picks.

Studio Splurd's Sober Award for the BEST thing of 2005 goes to... Movies.

Studio Splurd's Bender Award for the WORST thing of 2005 goes to... The entire year of 2005.

And the crowd goes wild. It was a shitty year, but its movies were good. But now it's time to move on. To thank my crew for getting off their butts and actually contributing to this whole award show idea of mine, I would like to present three new Vice Rating icons.

Glasses of Whiskey, for when we need something with a little more kick to it.

Cupcakes, particularly for Jenn, who's biggest (and only) vice is the sweet, evil call of these frosted pastries.

Punch - a Splurd standard. I figured I should put some form of soda in the Vice Rating System for stuff that doesn't even need alcohol, and damnit, if we were pirates, punch would be our grog. (Our rum, however, would still be rum).

So have a good 2006, folks, cuz 2005 sucked donkey balls.