Stop, hey whats that sound?

posted November 23, 2005 by G.L. Jeff

G.L. JeffWell I will admit that I was expecting at the very least, absolutely no corroboration of the "Bush declares war on Al-Jazeera!" story. It was too good to be even remotely true.

You see these motherfuckers know when people are listening. They're usually the ones doing it. But George W. bush, our president, actually said ...something. I don't care if it's wholly contained in a joke containing two rabbi and an aardvark. Only the sickest depraved child molesters, murderers, scumbags, and psychopaths will make jokes about the shit they just did, or have often been accused of doing. That shits serious. You pompous bourgeois scource of all evil. Do you seriously think we're not listening to what you say - and then seeing the results. WE are not fucking goldfish, we don't forget there's a castle in the bowl with us. We can see the motherfucking castle. WE remember the motherfucking castle. From before. Now you remember Mr. Bush, you are not sitting on a goddamn throne. Your office is only sacred because of a two century long media campaign.

You're in the spotlight so much, I've begun to believe that we're playing the worlds biggest game of "look at the hand." Look slickshit, I invented "look at the hand", I have in fact been the hand. The thing is, you're a bad hand, in more ways than one. You are breaking too many rules. At some point someone is going to say, "Hey, I think that giant rock is falling on us right now." And then it will fall. On top of them. And all their friends. They will have mostly just seen it begin to fall on television, but due to mass outbreaks of stupidity, had unanimously glued themselves to the sedentary talking screens that lived in their houses and in doing so completely forgot to run away. What are you thinking anyway,"Everybody pisses on the floor. Let's go for broke and shit on the ceiling."

The truth is, I can smell bullshit. And this, my friend, is not the first time. I feel like I live in some strange hell where it does indeed rain pure bull shit. I've been standing in it so long I never thought to name it. This is just like everybody before 1665 and gravity, we don't even see it, that shit just is. God, papa of jesus coolest in schoolest made it so. I read it…in a book.... in which it was also stated that everything in the book is true, even the really crazy shit that never happened which composes nearly 85% of the whole.

As is there are three things that I know for a fact are true. Number one, God as a sentient entity either separate or intertwined with the physical universe, is a cultural artifact, and in fact a fiction. Number two, Without trying, you do not in fact fly off into space. Finally Number Three, people in power spew bullshit. Usually while I'm just eating breakfast.

I don't like shit in my cornflakes. They don't taste good that way.

Times they are a changing. What you may or may not have said will appear a shade of subtlety when we've all spoken. We have all of the rest of history to vilify you. Assuming you leave us a little history to fill in. Oh…shit…now I get it. Nice Punchline. However, you might want to duck as the pendulum starts to swing back.

I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!