Jesus loves the little children, because they believe him without question!

posted November 11, 2005 by G.L. Jeff

G.L. JeffI often find myself, jaw dangling on floor, amazed at the recockulous idiocy of religious people, especailly when they get it stuck in their fucked up twisted little minds to make some facist attempt to create law based on their useless pointless hopeless bigoted sexist asshat fucking fairy tale.

Usually I use my rants to rally against these attempts to distort the amazing piece of legislation known as the bill of rights, but today I will use my little soapbox to rally against the root. I am fucking tired of christians. I mean it, seriously you guys shut the hell up or I am going to crucify you. You are stupid enough to believe lies sans research, you are dumb enough to guide your life by some dogmatic bullshit rather than take the time to figure things out for yourself, mostly because your mommy said so. Blind Faith is just that, its fucking BLIND. I prefer an exploration of the spiritual world that opens my eyes, not closes them. If I had a bible, I would use it to wipe my ass right now. This is of course preferable to banning, or as is more frequent with christians burning books full of actual facts and/or genuine artistic merit. If you like answers so much, here, go find them. Jackasses.You want the truth?!?!? You CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Goddammit you people piss me off. What kind of world are you working for....really? One where everyone believes the same thing and is controlled morally by a centralized organizaton which derives its power from a god? YOU FUCKING SCARE ME SHITLESS.

By the way, I respect your right to believe this crazy christian shit and to say whatever you like about it,I even feel bad for people brainwashed enough to buy it into adulthood (when rational thought is supposed to take over), but I have no respect for the people who push this into the public sphere, on whom I wish the invention of the time machine, so they can promptly go back to the inquisiton and be tortured for being so liberal, and/or die of the plaugue.Thank you and let's get this straight....jesus can suck my hairy irish balls.

The opinions in this article are the opinions of G.L. Jeff alone and not the opinions of splurd as a whole or any of its other members. If you are offended by its content please send Jeff an email at He will be sure to read it and then blaspheme loudly while engaging in premarital sex, smoking a joint and celebrating gay marriage, a womans right to chose, free speech, evolution , and the upcoming painfully disfiguing death of Pat Robertson.