Alice Cooper - Dirty Diamonds Album

posted September 12, 2005 by Q

QIt's a bad sign when you read titles to an album and see that the titles are so generic, you wonder if it's an album full of cover songs. Alice Cooper's new CD "Dirty Diamonds" has songs with such names as "Stand", "Perfect", "Your Own Worst Enemy" and "You Make me Wanna". Only one of the songs is an actual cover: "Pretty Ballerina"

In 2000, Alice took a decidedly more nu-metal turn with "Brutal Planet", a dark concept album describing a desolate, post-apocalyptic world filled with vice, sin and greed. In 2001, Alice took us deeper into Brutal Planet, on a tour of 'DragonTown'...Brutal Planet's most wicked city. "DragonTown" had gems on it like "Sex, Death & Money", and "Sister Sarah". Some seem to believe that "The Last Temptation"(1994) is part of a trilogy with the other two albums, but I dissagree, so we'll ignore it.

In 2003, Alice wanted to return back to his roots, and churned out "The Eyes of Alice Cooper", and it did indeed have more of a classic "Muscle of Love"(1973) feel. Alice tried again with "Dirty Diamonds".

One of the problems with "Dirty Diamonds" is that it seems to not want to agree with Alice. Alice wants one thing, the album wants another.

For example: "Run Down the Devil" sounds like a left over song from "Brutal Planet" and "DragonTown", with its trudging, hard-edge beat while "Stand" is a rock/rap mix featuring Xzibit. With stunning lyrics like ""You make me wanna WOO-HOO-HOO! Ya know I Gotta WOO-HOO-HOO!", I fear that Alice got Hillary Duff's lyricists on his payroll. I shit you not.

Other songs seem fairly genuine, "Steal That Car" has the same sort of mentality as..say.."I'm 18" or "Teenage Lament '74". "SunSet Babies (All Got Rabies)" is very "Wish I was Born in Beverly Hills." (From the Inside, 1978)

If I were to pick out the 'gem' of this album, It would most likely be "Six Hours", which if you read between the lines, seems to have the plot of "Hey, my love, I love you. Let's fuck before your cold, dead, frozen body de-thaws out-of-the-freezer."

It dumbs down to this: It's mindless background music easy to do housework too. I don't know, Alice, I expected more of you.

But I'm still coming to see you this October!

Rating: 2.5 bong