Not-So-Bitchy Artist Post

posted August 31, 2005 by Jer

JerI'm in the kind of mindset that usually results in bitch-artist days. Otakon's come and gone, things are slow with Splurd, I haven't gotten anything cool done in a while, etc etc. Oddly though, for once all that isn't really getting me down.

It's true Splurd is going slow once again. In the past this used to irk the hell out of me. These days, though, I'm aware that Splurd never really figured out What It Is. We do web comics, but none of us really take it seriously. I've quit Backstage and Big Josh can only do it sporadically. We adopted Q's F4E when she joined the ship, but it mostly takes a backseat to Elven Lacryment, and People in my Head takes a back seat to the other two. Beak has all but given up on Some Shit About Pirates, which leaves us with the stick figure comic Jenn has updated religiously for... like three years now? (Damn.) So we also do reviews. The guys were all excited about the vice-rating system. I thought it was a great idea but we never get around to using it. Most of us don't have the money or motivation to go see movies or play games that we pretty much know will piss us off before-hand. There's the rants, but Xrys, Q and Drew all use their Live-Journal to bitch about life, and no-one else (save myself) cares enough to just rant upon the soapbox that is Splurd. Same goes for art, Jenn and Q both draw constantly, but it all goes to Deviant Art. The result is Splurd is a little of everything and a lot of nothing. No-wonder we barely know what to do with it. Like I said though, it doesn't really bug me anymore. Splurd is what it is, and it's unique if nothing else. I still take comfort in the fact that we were 'blogging' before blogging was really popular.

The crew is as close as ever though. Otakon was proof of that. Everyone was there. Even G.L. Jeff and Jason - who had no hope or interest in getting tickets - drove up just to hang out and have a drink. The last time things got really slow, it was cuz the crew was falling apart. This time around, we're still tight, just lazy - but that's a defining characteristic of the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.

Big Josh used to call me the leader of Splurd. I never thought that I was, I'm just the guy with the caffeine buzz who wrapped a website around our shenanigans. It was in a discussion with Q over Otakon that I realized the true dynamic. Big Josh is the King. He's the figurehead, the popular icon, the one whom all the parties revolve around. I'm the Prime Minister. I'm the guy who does the political stuff, manages the mechanics of being a crew who happens to have a website. In that spirit, Big Josh and I have a plan for a Backstage Story where he and I run an election for president of Splurd - Big Josh with Mr. Seffinga as his running mate, and Me with Jenn as my VP. I figure if he won, the site would literally explode. You would visit it in your browser, and watch as your IE not only crashed, but actually animated the browser window shattering in conflagration as the pieces evaporate into helpless pixels. Big Josh doesn't even own a computer these days, let alone know how to get into the parts of Splurd that would make it break, but I know full well these are the events that would occur. Upon his inception as president of Splurd, his hardcore punkocity would transcend cyberspace to bring digital doom upon us all. It would be glorious.

As for my lack of project completion, that is entirely based around the fact that everything I'm working on is huge. Elves of Iax is getting close. Splurd.Net will hit shortly after that. My age-old toy "Cardboard Tube Samurai" has not been forgotten, and I promise you: when it is finished after Splurd.Net, you will be exceedingly underwhelmed with how long you waited for it. Last but not least is an Omega version of a Splurd store. This will be the finally, the culmination of everything I've learned about starting and running such ventures. Most amazing to me is that Jenn, Xrys, Q and My Dad are pitching in to get it going. For once, something cool is getting built and I'm not doing it alone.

So things are well in the world of Splurd. Thanks to all you true believers out there who keep checking up on us. Last note though... What is Splurd? I think after five years or so I'm finally figuring it out:

We are whatever the fuck we want to be. We do what we want when we want. We don't follow rules. We don't even have rules of our own. We get an idea and follow it through till we're tired of it. Then we start on another. We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, and thou shalt dig it.

And now I leave you with some Otakon pictures I left out before.


Sir Dew of the Mountain and his apprentice.


Allison gives us Bawls.


We gear up for attacking Mac Hall with a scene from Reservoir Dogs.


Duck gets drunk and smashes the wall of our hotel.