How to not give a fuck about Valentines Day

posted February 10, 2014 by Jer


So you say you hate Valentines day? Cool. Shut up for a second, I'm gonna solve this for you.

The fact that you are lonely means you are still capable of love. You're a good person. You're sad because you're lonely. You're lonely because you're craving one of the most universally-recognized human life experiences. That's cool. That's natural. That's human. There's nothing wrong with you just because you're single. You're not broken. You're certainly not alone. Don't believe me? Just look at ALL OF HUMAN ART. Try to name a story that doesn't involve unrequited love. Takes some fucking digging, doesn't it?

You're in the single part of your life. You want to be in the couple part of your life. That's how our culture is built, that's how our brain is wired. You're stressing because entering the next stage of your life is something that appeals to you, but becoming a couple is a puzzle that is categorically impossible to solve yourself.

It's a fair bet that you're a confidently self-sufficient problem solver. The idea of a puzzle you can't solve alone confounds you. You're stressing because you need to find a solution. This would all make sense if you could simply do a thing and accomplish love.

WELL GOOD FUCKING NEWS. It's cool. I've got this. Here's the cheat code.

You're in the single part of your life. You want to be in the couple part of your life. To reach the together part, you must finish living the single part.

This is a CHAPTER OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. Don't skip it! Don't rush through it! Don't live it by the standards of someone else's book. Be single AS HARD AS YOU FUCKING CAN. Fucking enjoy it. Do fun things. Go on adventures. Finish projects. Learn shit.

When you find love, it's going to be fucking rad, but your life is going to change. That doesn't mean better or worse, it just means different. There are things you can do as a couple you can't do as a single, but stressing over loneliness is distracting you from all the things you can do as a single that you can't as a couple.

"Wait," I can hear you saying, "how in god's glorious planet-sized nutsack is being single going to solve my singleness?" Simple, motherfucker, by making you more interesting.

I'm not telling you to go out of your house to meet members of the other gender - that doesn't work. I'm telling you to go out and live. Climb a mountain, join a soccer team, find a figure drawing session, learn to dance, do some volunteer work. There's something awesome you can do RIGHT NOW that you're holding yourself back from. Don't do it cuz I told you to. Don't do it to find love. Do it for you. Do it cuz you've always wanted to. Go out, rock it and come back with a fucking bomb ass story.

The more adventures you have, the more you have to talk about. The more you have to say, the more interesting you become and the easier it'll be to relate to other people. You're going to be more confident, you'll be less fixated on things you don't have and more proud of things you've accomplished. You'll be in a better and better place to hit it off with that totally great person you haven't met yet.

So this is my challenge to you, single person who hates Valentines Day: take February 14th off. It's not Valentines day for you, February 14th is officially Motherfucking Adventure Day. Get your ass out and go on a motherfucking adventure.