One Sided

posted January 10, 2014 by Jer

Jer

Unrequited attraction is one of the most selfish and destructive of human emotions.

A lot of people use the phrase "unrequited love," but I consider that an oxymoron. Love is an emotion you only experience when attraction is requited. The sensation of unrequited attraction is entirely different and utterly unpleasant. When in love, you think "This person makes me happy, I shall make them happy as well." In unrequited attraction, you think "This person makes me happy. I am angry they don't make me happy enough."

I hope I have made it obvious I'm not a fan.

Having a crush on a girl felt a lot like fighting a virus. It's an emotion I equate to weak youthful ignorance. I'm an adult now, I pay my own rent. It took an embarrassingly long period of my life to learn that fixating on another human objectifies them, and therefor can never have a positive outcome.

Drawing a comic about it was more therapeutic than I expected it to be. This whole scenario had nothing to do with the person I was fixated on, it was entirely embodied within my own mind. Drawing the comic helped me record the emotion externally. I felt like I had documented and saved the fact that a person had made me feel something worth remembering. It gave me closure; completion. I could let go of that feeling knowing I wouldn't forget it; knowing it wouldn't be belittled by abandonment. I could move on. I'm no longer trapped by a desire for the universe to deliver my expectations, I am free to be surprised by my next experience.

A situation like this means change. Changes can often be painful, but they are almost always necessary. One of humanity's three greatest strengths is the ability to adapt. I don't know who I'll meet next in life. I don't know who I might reunite with. I do know that if I cling to fantastical hopes and dreams, I'll miss what's actually happening.

The best part of life is discovering what comes next. If you can learn from the past without clinging to it, the experience will be amazing.