I don't like stuff, generally speaking. I'm a terrible capitalist, I know. I suppose there is some stuff I like. I like tools I actually use. I like tasty beverages. I like comics and games that are pretty underground, you probably haven't heard of them yet.
The trouble is I'm an insufferable snob about these things. I prefer to choose them myself.
I don't like getting gifts. People need to really know me to know what I like, and by that point they figure out I don't really like things. I feel like the best gift I can give someone is to not obligate them to give a gift.
This leads to the whole "getting gifts for other people" thing. I try to keep my head down and duck out of the game entirely when Giftmas rolls around. I don't want to be a grinch. I don't want to hate on this festive tradition everyone holds so dear. So I keep quiet and let it happen around me. If I give a gift, I like it to be a quiet, subtle surprise.
Anyway, I'm going somewhere with this. I got you something. It was expensive but intangible, and something I think you really needed. Remember all that bad stuff that happened this year? I figure you cared about that. There was a lot of guilt flying around over that. Some folks gave volunteer time. Some folks gave money. Some folks didn't have much of either to give. Just about everyone would have given more if they could.
I got your back. Here's what I got you. I had a couple bucks this year, so I just dropped my Giftmas shopping budget on the Red Cross.
Call it a "get out of guilt free" card. Merry Giftmas everyone.