Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace - Fixed

posted March 8, 2012 by Jer


The two Jedi stood back to back amidst the jungle foliage, sabers drawn as the battle droids surrounded them. It wasn't the worst scenario they'd fought their way out of, but it was becoming tiresome. As the alpha droid raised his hand to give the trademark "Blast him" command, the confrontation was interrupted by a previously unseen observer.

"You best be takin' your droids and leavin'" said the deep voice of a lanky native, roasting a small mammal over a fire. "I've had plenty o' trouble this day and I ain't lookin' for more."

The droids pointed their guns at the new threat, who stood. Quigon and Obiwon stepped back.

"Ye be Jedi?" asked the svelte Gungan, walking calmly towards the stalemate, the droids guns following. "What you be bringin' these buckets to me home for?"

"I assure you, we -" started Quigon, but the alpha droid interrupted.

"Blast him," stated the alpha, but only before the Gungan kicked it's head clean off.

The melee was quick. Sabers deflected blasters, droids were sliced in two, but the balletic native displayed an incredible hunter's prowess. Obiwan had only sliced two droids when he saw the Gungan press a gelatinus blue orb into a droid's chest with a palm punch, only to spin the droid around and shove it into another as the orb exploded. When the droids lay in pieces, the Gungan's martial artistry had destroyed as many as the two Jedi combined.

The sabers were lowered, but the Gungan held his graceful stance threateningly. Another of the destructive blue orbs was clutched in his large right palm. "You best be leavin' now," he repeated.

"We'd be happy to," replied Quigon respectfully, content not to bother the native further. "Could you point us in the direction of Theed?"

The Gungan held his pose a moment longer before finally relaxing, though he never took his eyes off the Jedi as he pocketed the gelatinous bomb. "Long way to go from here," he warned. "You land on the wrong side of the rock?"

"Being shot down can do that, yes," joked Obiwan. The Gungan snorted.

"Is there another city nearby where we could barter transport?" asked Quigon.

The native scoffed. "Otoh Gunga, if you can breath underwater, but I'll not be..." he began, but was interrupted by the screech of another droid fighter inbound.

"Oh, you bring big trouble with you, Jedi," he said, palming his bomb for whatever might come.

Sabers lit again as droids began raining down. "Find them!" commanded the new alpha.

"We've got to bring it down," said Obiwan.

"You're welcome to leave," Quigon told the Gungan. "You've been a great help already."

"If I leave this kind trouble," he lamented, "it just find me, anyway."

It took all three of them to bring the warship down in a fiery crash, and when it was over, the Gungan reluctantly found himself leading the Jedi to the waterfront. "The gods got me marked for trouble," he said with confidence. "They likely kill me when we get down there."

The Jedi were used to at least some of the surprises of space travel, so water-breathers were made easy to pack. "Why is that?" asked Quigon.

"I be banished," said the Gungan, "for bein' careless."

Obiwan tilted his head. "You were banished for being careless?"

"When you be careless with peoples lives, you be lucky to be banished!" snapped the Gungan, and dove. The Jedi exchanged a glance, the kind of look friends give each other when they know this is just the start of a very long day. They bit their water-breathers, and followed.

Fixed that for you. -Jer