Hello, Over the year, Jeff has brought you many fine rant products, ranging from entertainin rants to downright violent rants. We here at the Save A Jeff foundation would like to offer you the oppourtunity to give back to this fine charity. You see during these trying holiday months, the Jeff here at the ranch begin suffering from cold, boredom and poverty. Here at the foundation we wish to eventually set the Jeff free in their natural territory, northern virginia suburbs. Funding is recently lacking, scince being declined our usual yearly stipend under the Republicans restructuring of the wildlife preservation programs, we have been forced to take care of the Jeffs using only cardboard, and old eggs. The only invalidating fact eliminating us from the program is that "the Jeffs" are actually only one person, who is not in fact in any real danger.
Please, when you think of where to send those extra pennies, or hundreds of thousands of dollars, send them here, to the Save a Jeff Foundation, and save a Jeff of your very own.
You will recieve a pamphlet with a picture of the Jeff you saved along with vital staistics, like age and leg width. You will also recieve a free SAJF tote bag, and be added to our members list. Thank you all so much for your donations, and remember our motto, "Save A Jeff, all the kids are doing it."