posted December 15, 2003 by Jeff


I have come a great distance to make a prophesy. Ok not so great, my computers in my room, but shut up now you! Once many moons ago, there were seven who were one. Jeremy the wise, our leader, strong in the ways of the force, and photoshop. Jen our protector, the lone wolf who stands a lone watch so that her pack may be safe. Jason our heart, or at the very least our spleen, the warp whistle ninja in our midst, he was everywhere, he was nowhere. Siewert, our brawn, and our compassion, the gentle giant who loved the bong. Seffinga our eyes and ears, the opinion not asked, but always given, usually it made sense and was helpfull, usually. Chris, the dark side of the rainbow, sometimes she'd show up and enjoy the sauce. Finally myself, I never knew what the hell I was doing there, but Im sure it was Jasons fault.

So cometh the prophesy. For many long updates of Backstage have we been separated, each wandering alone, learning all we could learn of the world and its recockulousness. Yes that's a word. The group has splintered, Jeremy and his elves, Jen and her stuff she does, Chris and her goose, Josh and the puget sound region, Myself and my small trees, Seffinga and his porn. Jason...he has made the longest journey because he drives a delivery truck all the fuck over the place, every day, c'mon he's had to cover a good distance by now. But the time has finally come, now, now we begin our journey back, Once seven became one, and so it shall be again. For I see us all returning. Our leader calls in desperation, and probably boredom. I call to you my splurdagumi, come home,for the splurd needs you. And all of you the splurdlings, wish us well, for the journey is fraught with dangerous beasts. We may meet the viscous procrasitatonadon, the dangerous Broke beast of poorass path, and the worst of all, one we must never fall victim too, the seriously dark gray riders of Apathyron and his Dark wizard Sore-an-tired. Begin your journey back my fellow Splurdagumi, the path is long, and cops chill on the highways, but I believe in you, and if saying that shit could free Willy it just may get you home.